El Peso de Los Libros y Mi Alma

Con el corazón en las palmas

I want this not only for myself but for my community
I want to show brown little children they too can be doctors
I want to reduce that language barrier in Spanish speaking communities
I want my family to be proud
I want to cross that stage as an MD
I want my parent, siblings, nieces, and nephews to say
“Mi hija es doctora”
“Mi hermana es doctora”
“Mi tia es doctora”

I want to show them que si se pudo
After many, many years of hard work
And crying nights dealing with imposter syndrome
Doubting if I was capable of this journey
It's true when they say you are your worst enemy
I'm learning to stop comparing myself to my peers
To focus on my own journey
To learn and appreciate the journey
And to love myself in the process
I know I’m getting closer and closer to my white coat


Si puedo volar

Some days are harder than others
Some days are really easy and I feel like a doctor
There are days that feel never ending
Days where I feel so heavy
But there are also nice days
On nice days I believe I can do it
Not because I believe in myself, but because a friend or family member does
It’s easier to believe others than it is to believe myself
That is the crazy part about this journey
It’s learning to believe in myself because I can truly do it
And not because I am told I can do it
Its growing from within
Flourishing to my true potential
Some days my wings are wet, but when they dry
I can truly fly

Ya me canse Pt.1

We are told how difficult this journey is when starting
Yet the weight feels so heavy
I’m exhausted
I cry a lot
Things aren’t all rainbow and sunshine
My mind takes over and clouds my abilities
Stresses me so hard that I stop what I’m doing
But I must push through
Picture myself as a doctor
I didn’t come this far to just come this far
I am determined to keep going
Plans change and things don’t always go as planned
Just don’t quit, and you’ll be okay
Another sprint to the finish line and you can finally catch your breath

And for whoever invented the MCAT
You are very much not appreciated
Love,
every low-income aspiring doctor


Ya me canse Pt.2

Don’t you ever get tired from fighting a system that wasn’t made for you?
Do you get tired of wanting to be that person to change the system
The person to take up the spaces that weren’t meant for us?
Tired of climbing just to hit another mountain to climb
Tell me how you do it
Enlighten me please because I’m tired

Llegar hasta el final

If you told me a year ago I would have straight A’s I wouldn’t believe it
If you told me a year ago, I would feel smart again I wouldn’t believe it
If you told me a year ago, I would be one step closer to my dream I wouldn’t believe it

I felt like giving up a long time ago
But I kept going
Learning to dissociate my self worth from my grades is hard
A self learning process still in process
Learning to not compare myself to my peers is hard
But it takes away many stresses of feeling behind
Learning how to study all over again is hard
But is so worth it
Learning how to balance school and life is hard
But not impossible if you make time for what truly matters

Don’t get distracted, just keep going
When everything seems like it’s going wrong just keep going
When you feel sad, tired, overwhelmed take a step back and just keep going
When you want something so bad, but it seems unachievable just keep going

Si yo puedo, tu también puedes y juntos llegaremos hasta el final
Lograremos todos nuestros sueños
We will be the next doctors