Racing Thoughts

"Am I even smart enough for this?"
"I could’ve chosen an easier path."
"What if I’m not good enough as a doctor?"
"What if my parents’ sacrifices weren’t enough?"
Most of us wouldn’t say these thoughts out loud, but they always find a way to creep in.
I lie awake at night, thinking about everything I’ve overcome and everything I still have to do. The weight of it all, desperation, doubt, exhaustion settles in, and I can’t help but feel overwhelmed.
The responsibilities pile up shadowing, research, publications, grades. Board exams loom over me. My relationships, my health, the things I love, where do they fit in? The list never ends.
Medicine demands sacrifice. Every day, I remind myself, sometimes I have to convince myself that it will all be worth it. 
But if there’s one thing that keeps me going, it’s the drive to create change, not just for myself, but for others. To rewrite my parents’ story and build my own.
I’ve lived through loss twice. First, leaving Cuba for France. Then, uprooting again to the United States. I know what it means to start over, to fight for a future no one hands to you. I watched my parents pour their blood, sweat, and tears into a dream they never got to live. Todo por un futuro mejor (all for a better future) they say. 
It’s that thought that sacrifice that fuels me. And I know I’m not alone. For so many Latino student doctors, this isn’t just a career. It’s a mission. A promise. It’s why we keep going.
Now, I ask myself different questions, have different thoughts. 
"What if I break barriers?"
"What if I become the doctor my community needs?"
"I am capable. I am deserving. My culture is my strength."
I know that soon I’ll stand in a white coat, not just as a doctor, but as proof that dreams built on sacrifice are never in vain. I know that I’ll become a daughter my parents can be proud of and a mother my future children can look up to. I’ll walk into exam rooms where my patients see themselves in me. Most importantly, I’ll instill in my work the values that all these hardships have taught me, empathy, perseverance, and dedication.